Please respect the confessions that people have made below. Do not try to guess or gossip about who the secret belongs to, that is not the aim of Post-secret. If you would like to make an anonymous confession please click HERE. When making a post, please do not mention people by name or make it identifiable as they will not be posted. Thanks to all those who have contributed.
P.S. This is not a complaints forum. Please use the anonymous feedback form
Remember, you can call or text the welfare mobile on 07964591656 for a confidential and non-judgemental listening ear, for signposting or supplies. The number for nightline is on the back of your campus card.
xxx
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After a term of Mildert I started self harming but I always thought that I was a personable person I'd be okay when it comes to some committees. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. The undemocratic nature of our JCR has allowed at least 5 too many morons in. Goodbye Durham I think... oh wait my Mum wants me to stay here to achieve all the things I don't want to... Bye life?
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This is one too many a time that I've been fucked over by this JCR. Thanks Mildert and good night... and by good night, i mean goodbye to one of the few people who give a fuck about this college
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When I was 9, I almost killed my neighbour. (The age of criminal responsibilty is 10.)
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I never thought I'd be alone for all 3 years of university. It depresses the hell out of me that I'm so unloveable / undateable.
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I don't care if I end up lying to myself again. I just want the hurt to stop.
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I like being in an open relationship but can't help obsessing when I think he's fucking someone else in this very moment.
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I don't know how I have managed to screw my life up so much; I wish I knew what to do but everything I have tried hasn't worked. I am running out of time, I am running out of options, and right now I am so scared.
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Sleep was supposed to be a respite from reality, but it seems that I've developed the ability to hurt myself in my dreams.
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I found a little hole in the wall. Now I can watch you sleep :D (and other things, naughty!)
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"anyone else ever feel imposter syndrome?" All. the. time. I constantly feel I don't deserve any of the things I've been given.
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You'd be surprised how hard you have to press with a knife to actually draw any blood.. I know I was
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'I've done so many things I regret but the way I treated you is my biggest regret by far. Everyday I realise more and more about exactly how much I've lost, but my loss is your gain and I hope you find all the happiness that you deserve. Not a day has passed when I haven't cried for you, but I know I need to let you go. Maybe we'll meet again in another life when we're both cats.' I feel the same way, whoever this is. Cats were my old girlfriend's (i hate saying 'ex') favourite animal. She had the most adorable cat noises. But indeed, the phrase ''if you really love someone, you have to let them go'' makes sense to me now. Unfortunately.
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Secrecy is a hard habit to break.
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If I was your girlfriend I would recycle because I know you care about that.
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A piece of advice: for anyone who is, or ever does struggle, for whatever reason while at university - go to the university counselling service. Yes it's not right for everyone, but it really helped me (and I was on the verge of dropping out). I think people underestimate the value of having someone to listen to you - things are always better when you tell someone, but if you can't tell your friends or family, tell the counselling service. Or welfare. Or Nightline. Tell someone because if you keep everything bottled up inside you'll explode. A problem shared may not be a problem halved, but it certainly reduces it a bit. Don't be afraid to ask for help - people are more willing and able to help you than you may think.
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'Last term, I was chatting with a hot girl at the bar and was about to ask her if she fancied a date when she left with some friends. Was pretty damn gutted but found out later that I had a close escape - she's apparently a Christian, and not a normal one that doesn't really take it seriously, but an honest-to-god nutter who thinks the world is 6000 years old, that you shouldn't have sex before marriage, that gays are evil and that evolution is a lie sent by rhe devil. Wtf, how can such people even exist in this day and age with science and technology that proves that old book is a hunk of junk, let alone at a top 3 university! Oh well, found a dirty little she-devil a few days later who is now my girlfriend, get in.' - I really hope this is a troll because it is quite possibly one of the most intolerant things I have ever read. If it isn't then please, have a little respect.
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"i'm a lesbian and have not told anyone as i'm worried people won't be my friend if i say" - Smile :) It can seem daunting but it's never as terrifying/awkward/whatever as you make it in your head. If you really think your friends are going to abandon you based on your sexuality though, that raises some fundamental questions about the quality of these so-called "friends". Tell them, come out. Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter.
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The more people care about you the more you hurt them. Who's going to come for you next time something happens? Maybe you like to think that you don't need anyone, but that's bull. You were upset last time when none of your 'friends' were there for you. Next time you'll really be on your own, and you'll only have yourself to blame.
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"I can squirt, and it's definitely pretty much weeing yourself, so you can all do it! Go try it out x" dear whoever this person is, i fucking love you, regardless of whether this is a joke or not
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anyone else ever feel imposter syndrome?
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I've done so many things I regret but the way I treated you is my biggest regret by far. Everyday I realise more and more about exactly how much I've lost, but my loss is your gain and I hope you find all the happiness that you deserve. Not a day has passed when I haven't cried for you, but I know I need to let you go. Maybe we'll meet again in another life when we're both cats.
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Last term, I was chatting with a hot girl at the bar and was about to ask her if she fancied a date when she left with some friends. Was pretty damn gutted but found out later that I had a close escape - she's apparently a Christian, and not a normal one that doesn't really take it seriously, but an honest-to-god nutter who thinks the world is 6000 years old, that you shouldn't have sex before marriage, that gays are evil and that evolution is a lie sent by rhe devil. Wtf, how can such people even exist in this day and age with science and technology that proves that old book is a hunk of junk, let alone at a top 3 university! Oh well, found a dirty little she-devil a few days later who is now my girlfriend, get in.
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I can't count the number of people this year who have called me "mi amor". This makes me smile.
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I think I'm in love.
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Well, i sure have stuffed up. After the bugger-up in January when i split from my girlfriend, i was wounded in a place so deep i didn't even realise. I had two options. To rise up, make great friends with my corridor, get happy, or fall into my usual cycle of 'i've always enjoyed my own space more than others'. A free toastie to whoever guesses which one i went down. Well, the remedy to my strange, empty hole was the form of an archaic addiction. Something far worse than alcohol, smoking, or drugs. I started up RuneScape again. To be quite honest i have spent every waking moment thinking about it, playing it, or thinking about playing it. I never worked, cos in RuneScape i feel powerful. More powerful than i could ever be. And i have spent all Easter, literally all Easter playing it. I have the tab open right now. And i have so much work to do in the next three weeks before it hits the fan and i fail half of my modules. And to those that are laughing, i leave you with an amusing meme: One does not simply stop playing RuneScape. P.s/ If anyone wants to pvp or boss, add my alias Deum_Guthix. I will most likely be online.
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I decided to stab myself with a (sterile) knife to see what it actually felt like to be stabbed. It hurts. But once you've broken the skin and mooch around a bit with a blade sticking out of your thigh, it's actually disturbingly soothing...well, i know what kind of porn i'm going into when i'm older.
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After spending a year traveling peaks and valleys of depression, I feel truly happy and optimistic and able to cope for the first time in ages. Nothing big changed, except my mindset - but everything is suddenly brighter and I'm my cheery self again. To anyone who's struggling, please believe that this too WILL pass. It was hard for me to think that, but it finally has.
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Dear coward-screamer, I'd say that resorting to exclaiming insults on an anonymous board was the epitome of cowardice..... No?
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I am about to change everything
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i'm a lesbian and have not told anyone as i'm worried people won't be my friend if i say
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Geography is not part of the Faculty of Science.
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It's sad to come from a school where you were a big name and everyone knew you to a place where you're nothing special.
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Given that the lake is being dredged right now, it's probably time to 'fess up to the body that's inevitably about to surface. My bad, Mildert.
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I think the head of welfare is a babe :)
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A supposedly French guy was flirting with me so much at Mardi Gras. I think that was all a charade though as the last thing I heard the group drunkenly yell was: "He's not even French!" Well, newsflash, I'm not even straight. Get over yourselves thinking that every woman is there for the taking!
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Since coming to Uni I've learnt that most guys are complete dickheads.
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I can squirt, and it's definitely pretty much weeing yourself, so you can all do it! Go try it out x
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Some sort of monster smashed up some wood in Tyne
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I like how you're so scared of me that you won't even make eye-contact with me. And that you try to leave as quickly as possible as soon as I'm near. Yeah I'm talking to you! COWARD COWARD COWARD - go run and hide to your pretty little pussy! (':
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I hate living out so much. It seemed like this would be such a lovely place to live, but it hasn't turned out to be. I always hoped that university would be a place where I would feel at home and find some really good friends. Now I think that perhaps there's just something fundamentally unlikable about me.
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It may seem harsh, but I don't have time to listen to/deal with all you're petty little problems right now. Yes it sounds like you've had a bad day/awkward night out/fight about something stupid with your friend. But please deal with it yourself/man up while I work on my degree. Which, incidentally, is what you should be doing.
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The couple who won Mr and Mrs Mildert are so hot. Just saying.
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Hiya, me again. If i've learnt one thing this term it is keep your lovers close... but your socks closer
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The manifestos creep me out. I don't like the idea of all those pictures of people staring at me while I'm on the toilet....
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"Sometimes it astounds me the s**t that good people put up with all the time" - agreed, I have finally made it clear to certain 'friends' that their bitchy, manipulative comments are NOT acceptable. And it felt good.
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so depressing that i am paying £9000 for my degree and i am definately going to fail fml
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i really want a boyfriend
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I'm so happy there was a same-sex couple in Mr and Mrs Mildert! :-)
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hehehe
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lost all motivation all of it
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The Valentine's gift my boyfriend will get in two days has been paid for by sleeping around Mildert for money last week
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Peeing isn't the only thing you can do in the shower
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do you hear it calling another day we are here never again to be one if I had to be anything everything would fade like the silence I live but only for a while am I here everything fades in the end like a cloud over the ocean like a wisp in the wind if only there was something to be something grows at last it will be different silence but not silent heard only in the fire it is this that comes this that frees
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I like the yellow flowers on your desk
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Parking is f**king daft
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Strreessssssss
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Get your nose out of my bottom
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I put that note on your door.
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I want to do 69 with you on top...
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I have a master key!
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Do you think getting a new man bag will make you less of a selfish little t**t?
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My corridor are really noisy and keep me awake. I like to pee in their shoes.
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I hate the fourth year physics student who always sits in the front row in lectures and constantly bounces up and down on his chair. So irritating. Idiot.
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to relieve summative stress, i like to fill my wet room with steam, crack open a couple of ice cold brewskis with the laaads and get my sauna on.
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i wish life had an 'opt out' button. i dont see the point in being alive.
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what were the bloody results of the jcr presidential election already?!?!?!
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I got ridiculously drunk the other night and can't remember a thing. I have a feeling I've done something awful... people are treating me different.
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"TLDR. I'll tell you why i dont like america: even though they have disgusting amounts of racism, religious fundamentalism and gun crime (apparently the answer to stopping it is to have MORE guns), they still insist on referring to their country as "the greatest country in the world". Which it most emphatically is not. Many of them look down on the rest of us, insisting that America is the only place in the world worth living. And I just have to say, one of the LAST places in the world I'd wan to live is America." - an idiot
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Sometimes it astounds me the s**t that good people put up with all the time.
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I don't know what to do. Why can't life be simple? Why can't you just tell me like me and then ride off into the sunset with me? I hate living here. This place is toxic to even the most pure relationships.
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You are fucked up. And it would be nice if you and other people admitted it, before you do some serious damage.
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I <3 Prime Minister's questions
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Its not narcissism if you truly are better than everybody else
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had sex in academy toilets last night!! quality!
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the inevitable happened and the inevitable happened.. wonder if we were always going to f**k up our friendship this much. fools to do what we did and fools to think we'd get it back to normal. probably fools to think nobody will find out, too.
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my friends joke about me being a klepto but i think they may be right. i've always liked nicking s**t but this year i've taken it next level. i don't even go here!!
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I hate being in third year so very much.
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I'm lonely and scared and you destroyed the very last of my self-esteem and I can't tell anyone because the only person I used to talk to about this stuff is you. Ironic. I appreciate it.
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I am [edit: identifying features taken out] and my secret is: I CANT GET OVER MY FEAR OF FINGERBLASTING GIRLS, IT'S JUST TOO INTRUSIVE. help me, please?
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I lost my virginity in a wendy house. Fortunately on this particular sexual endeavour no clothing was unlawfully taken from me.
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I slept with a second year and afterwards we exchanged my pants for his t shirt and i got a taxi home
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I can't believe i've had a sock and a pair of pants stolen in two sexual encounters in a week.
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I slept with a 2nd year who lives in the viaduct... he plays rugby and is rather handsome. However, when i proceeded to go about my stride of pride back to college i realised that my new found lover had stolen my underwear, i can only presume that he is a panty sniffer #mymotherwarnedaboutthesesorts
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I nearly kissed a very pretty girl in my year. She is blonde, cute and lovely. This lip touching happened for a good 5 minutes. She proceeded to invite me over for 'cuddles' this morning (oi oi). I do want to give her a good piping.
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It's enlightening looking at the photos you're tagged in on facebook and seeing how you used to do things and go out and have friends before you got into a relationship, to seeing almost nothing since because you're now just wasting your life away doing nothing with that one person.
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im the friendzoned boy in the world... what's im on a one way train to the familyzone
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Why do all these white b****** want my chocolate pogo stick?
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I sometimes feel lost at Mildert... like a black crow amidst a sea of white doves. I wish i could bleach my skin white.
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Is it bad that my new years resolution was to slut about?
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I had a second year stay over, we couldn't find a condom so we sixty nined till the sun came up.
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I slept with a third year boy who lives in, and he stole me sock... it feels like a left a piece of my heart in Tyne
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To the girl who's been helping her friend on crutches at mealtimes, i don't know you, but you're sweet :-)
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I'm on my year abroad and haven't filled out any of my forms nor checked DUO since before Christmas. I'm scared.
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Well, today was rough. On top of the usual degree slog, i've got my first treble deadline looming, which in mere anticipation has knocked me off my tiny parapet, but to top it all off, what i expected to be a soothing phonecall with my keystone who would give me courage, actually turned out to be my first breakup. Well, shit. I mean, things were weird at the Christmas holidays, sure, but i didn't see it coming. Not so soon after the New Year. 15 months, splat. I guess the hardest part for me, she was all i needed, she was there for me in an invaluable way last term, she kept me just on the brink of sanity adapting to uni, she was my keystone. And now i've lost my keystone.
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I thought you were a friend, but now I see you for what you really are.Does ignoring me make you feel good about yourself?
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It's all my fault for being oversensitive, and I should learn to ignore things, and you don't need to be careful about what you do or say - or don't - because it's my fault if I cry about it.
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I don't see the point in life. It's not that I feel depressed (although admittedly sometimes I do, a lot); it's just that when I think about the future I don't see the point in continuing this pointless existence. (Yes, I call it an existence, it is not a life.) I visited some elderly family friends over the Christmas holidays and they asked me what I want to do when I graduate this summer and joked about how horrible it is to grow old. I faked a smile and make up some answer but really I was just thinking: "What do I want to do in the future? - I don't want to *have* a future. I don't see the point; when I look forwards, I see nothing, and I would like that nothingness to be cut sort rather than endure it for lengthy, wasted years." Only I won't end it, because I am a coward. I will live a long and miserbale life. And it depresses me, because I do not want to.
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wish i was more attractive so i could get the d more often
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I had group sex last night and it was so cool I want to tell EVERYONE so this will have to do
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I just can't get you out of my head. It's really really distracting.
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All my friends are in relationships. The most annoying person I know has a boyfriend. I'm still single. Even my ex has given up trying to flirt with me. I'm not the centre of attention anymore. What the hell is going on?
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I don't understand memes
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I can't wait for next term to start, so i can get involved and sort my life out. I've hit the ground running, it' been a more painful transition than i could have imagined and i'm staring at work that turns knots in my stomach when i think about it. I can't wait for next term, but at the same time i am scared to my core of how hard it will be to turn my apathetic existence around and become all that my very being cries out to be.
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I got caught by a porter having sex in the ustinov room. Would have thought a locked door and drawn curtains was enough..
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Didnt want to live in college anyway.. you meanies :'(
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bizarre panic moment
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A 13 second sign up time and a consession and I still got turned away from living in Mildert last year. GOOD LUCK TO ALL THOSE WHO SIGNED UP, BECAUSE IT IS JUST A CASE OF RANDOM F***ING LUCK.
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You don't even care that I might be pregnant, and I'm too embarrassed to tell any of my friends. I regret that night and I wish I'd never met you.
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Found out at breakfast that it's true what they say about german girls. Jesus christ! Hairy as f*ck!
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I absolutely despise show offs
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I am the Batman.
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well I made a tit of myself last night...
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Thank you for checking that I was ok when you saw me the other day. I really appreciated it. The truth is I'm not ok, but you made me feel like someone cared, even if it did made me want to cry.
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To the artistic soul who posted before: create something. Anything. Try, in whatever way you can to make some kind of physical representation of the intensity of your feelings. It doesn't have to be any good, but trust me, it'll make you feel better. Once all of those feelings have become a painting, a song, a melody, a poem, a play, a sculpture, a dance, a SCARF WITH LITTLE DANCING ELEPHANTS ON IT, whatever, once they have become something OTHER you don't have to carry them round anymore. Try it.
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I often get so excited I feel like I'm going to explode!
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I have no idea who you are, but are you ok? :)
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I wish somebody someday would just take 2 seconds of their time to ask if i'm ok.
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I know you don't care but the baby is fine. I wish you'd grow up enough to talk to me about it...
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"One of my best friends wants to commit suicide. Sometimes I want to too. Maybe we could do it together." - although it may not feel like it at the moment, life will get better. Try and find someone you trust and tell them you feel this way. Telling someone will be a weight off your mind and they will be able to help you find another solution. Stay strong.
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It's almost as if where most people feel in the delicacy of watercolours, I feel in the richness of oil paint. That sounds so stupid. But its like where they have a bad day so go and have a drink with friends and it makes everything better, with me a 'bad day' eats away at me and a half hour laugh with a friend is only temporary relief, if any at all. I went and spoke to someone professional last week and for that small amount of time I felt such relief to have spoken about everything that's going on in my life out loud. Even though I don't think there's anything tangible they can do to help, having her listen and care kind of made me feel safe. Even though for most of the time I still feel shit, I'm trying to look for the little things... I know we're not supposed to but I find feeding the Mildert ducks embarrassingly therapeutic. Her making me think to remember those little things has really helped - although it makes me hate myself to admit it, I think I want to get help on a more regular basis.
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The (edt: identifying features taken out) fingered me in the Ustinov toilets against my will
editors note: please do not use identifying features on post a secret as we cannot publish them for confidentiality reasons.
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Please don't die. There are people (probably many) that care about and love you.
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Before University I was so naive and innocent. I miss those days.
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One of my best friends wants to commit suicide. Sometimes I want to too. Maybe we could do it together.
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I still really like you...even after everything that's happened.
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my boobs are extremely dangly and pendulous at the moment . . . must do more press-ups . . .
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when coming to freshers week i expected lots of sex but clearly everyone is too reserved. the boys have no game :(
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There is a small, witty, rugby player in 1st year who I kissed last night
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I really fancy the skinny sports representative
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the cleaners don't do anything... They just sit in spare rooms playing on their fake i phones
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I don't think anybody realises the severity of my mental disorders... I'm scared that one day they will, I'm also scared it will be too late by then...
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I'm rude to people I like and push them away. Sorry if offended you.
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To my dear friend, I love you but please stop using 'gay' as a derogatory term. It's offensive and quite frankly it makes you sound stupid.
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I have loved you since first year. But I could never trust you to truly respect my views on relationships. Thats why I hesitated back then and its why I can't tell you my true feelings now. I'm sorry. I'm sure these feelings will dissipate. One day.
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So many of these posts could have been written by me
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"I'm not coping. It worries me when I have days like this that I'm going to fuck up my degree and consequently my life. Because if I can't muster up the energy to do my seminar work how am I ever going to write a dissertation?" I feel like this too - and I'm already supposed to be doing my dissertation. Haven't been able to feel motivated to do anything for weeks. Bodes well for third year!
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Get off with someone, you're a slut. Refuse to get off with someone, you're a frigid bitch. Yeah, that makes sense.
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i love getting with boys in lloyds!
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I'm not coping. It worries me when I have days like this that I'm going to fuck up my degree and consequently my life. Because if I can't muster up the energy to do my seminar work how am I ever going to write a dissertation?
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person below has obviously never been in a relationship or only bad ones
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Uni life is making me fat
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Relationships are nothing but glorified sex. They simply give women the excuse to act as filthily as they want without having to worry about being labelled a slag and give men an excuse to get out of the social competition of being a lad. You're still slags and lads. You're just imprisoning yourselves at the same time too.
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why do I always do this to myself.
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I'm on my year abroad and so happy, much more so than I ever was at mildert. I'm already nervous about returning to the place that made me feel like a worthless loser.
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I hate myself, a lot.
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I'm meant to be doing a lab write up. Instead I'm trying to work out how to kill myself. I really don't see any point in doing another year of a course I hate with people I despise so I can get a job I won't enjoy. But at the same time, I'm so scared of dying.
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I think I might have loved you.
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Don't pretend to be my friend, then slag me off behind my back... you're as subtle as a sledgehammer in your bitching, love.
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I just don't know where I stand.
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I can't cope.
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You're so confusing
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I might have AIDS. Hell, I might have a lot of things. Hoping if I write this here I'll get myself to a clinic tomorrow morning to get checked.
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I'm worried I'm going to get kicked out. I'm so unmotivated.
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I am obsessed with PostSecret (the original version, Frank Warren, his YouTube channel is inspirational!)
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I'm hating living out just as much as I knew I would.
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I met someone at a thing I joined recently. I think I like them, but don't know if their smile means they like me too
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I sometimes wish I could leave for a long time and come back a different person; prettier, thinner, nicer.
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I'm so ridiculously happy at the moment, I feel so pumped and I feel like I can do ANYTHING.
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I HATE DUO!! WHAT THE F**K IS IT!!!!
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I HATE MY CORRIDOR!
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I didn't realise that moving back into college would result in me seeing every guy I've ever got with all the time. It's like my own personal awkward hell.
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Every day since turning 21 I've felt varying degrees of s**t. Sure, I pop into college for the college events, paint a smile on my face and try to convince everyone that I'm fine. But I know that I will kill myself if this depressed mood doesn't shift soon.
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I hate worrying that everyone is cooler, more likeable, more fun than I am. I always end up on my own, and I hate it :(
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I took the blame for something I didn't do and they actually thought I did it. They honest to God believed I did it. F**k.
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I was so happy over the summer, I was really enjoying everything I was doing. But as soon as term started and the initial excitement of seeing everyone again wore off I've begun to feel really down again. I'm worried that I'm going to suffer from depression and that's it's really going to f*ck up my final year. I really need someone to help me but I just don't know who to ask.
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Don't you think masturbating is like casting a little spell?
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It's Freshers Week...and I think I've gotten myself a bit of a reputation already
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I'm prettier, kinkier and more interesting than any of his new girlfriends look on Facebook. I know he likes me and he knows I'm waiting for him. So frustrating and so his fault that we're wasting our short years of youth and beauty not f*cking around together.
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dear "worried that durham is going to be full of ugly boys"...in the least slutty way possible...you really don't need to worry about that...
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worried that durham is going to be full of ugly boys
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Weeeee, what a quick and easy solution.
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Major thankies for the post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
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I have Social Anxiety Disorder...Bloody HATE it!
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I have anorexia. I cannot tell anyone as I fear they would not understand and think I was vain and obsessed about being thin. When really it is about a deep self-hatred that causes me to restrict as a way of controlling my anxieties.
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To the person who says Durham is their only hope, believe in it. Throw yourself in here and you'll be totally fine, Mildert is unbelievably good.
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I want to marry you. More scared than you think.
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I hate you. With greater hatred than I have ever felt before, which is saying something. And yet I often dream of our reconciliation...
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I did tell someone I trusted and I think I'm going to be ok :)
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If you've ever been depressed or ever felt down read this. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html If you haven't, read it anyway, and you may learn something.
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qqvNZX I am so grateful for your blog. Cool.
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A while ago I told you I wanted you to be happy. But you just out-dicked yourself, and now that's the last thing I want.
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My gap year...I've experienced the worst depression of my life, and have been left feeling completely worthless and alone. I have been forgotten by everyone. Durham is my only hope, but I fear I'm going to be disappointed
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I don't like drinking. Does that make me weird?
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oh what banter, what pure pure banter
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I put the 'hip' in rohipnol
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To the person who self-harmed: please, please find someone you trust and tell them.
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I'm too sexy for my shirt. Just putting it out there.
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I hate Mildert and I've hated this degree. I hate everyone who made me feel like crap for the past three years. I'm moving on and up.
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I just self harmed.
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Thinking about what I wrote last night. So glad I didn't send it to anyone. I'm a horrible person.
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feels good man.
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I have trust issues...I can't get close to people.
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When I'm with you, I'm paranoid that you'll ditch me like everyone else. You're so amazing, I don't ever want to lose you.
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you're lucky you have friends.
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My jealousy and impatience will be my downfall, but I don't care.
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I want to be more than friends
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I wish you'd tell me what you really want.
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Sometimes I can't even tell how i feel. i wish i could change things but i don't know how to. I'm panicking all the time and i just can't control anything in my life any more. if it wasn't for my friends here i don't know how i would cope.
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Want to thank the lovely individual who stole £10 from my purse in Mildert bar last night. You truly are a decent human being.
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I think I may have Trichotillomania . . . I'm getting a bald patch
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Next year will be the final year of a degree I really haven't enjoyed. I think I know what I want to do afterwards, but after this year I'm having trouble seeing myself getting the grades I need. Has it all been a waste of time? Will I ever find something I'm happy doing?
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I'm gonna microvave it all...
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The other week I had five topless girls in my room... and I loved it
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So stressed- can't stop eating :(
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The sun boosts my mood :D
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Wish I could open up to people, but I just can't...so all my problems, insecurities, fears are locked up inside, driving me mad. One day I'll crack.
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I'm so, so neurotic. I hate it. It ruins everything.
---
A thin girl caught me peering into her basket at Tesco Express to see what her secret was. Never mind, Activia definitely doesn't taste as good as skinny feels.
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I'm normally constipated so exam stress gives me the perfect poo. Every cloud...
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It's going to be so embarrassing when all the friends in my house get 1sts and I get a 3rd.
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Please leave me alone. I think I've made this pretty obvious.
---
Say what you like about Durham's most hated online presence. He's a pretty fantastic lover.
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I got really sexually aroused in an exam the other day... GOD DAMN IT, THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE. The invigilator and the guy sat next to me were both so sexy though ;)
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Okay, I don't go here, I just have a lot of feelings
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I can't stop squeezing my spots in the library loo. I come back with my face all blotchy wondering why I did it, and then go and do it again next time I'm bored.
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See you in August.
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Wonder how many people posting on here are imposters...or even go to Durham at all
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So much about you frustrates and annoys me, but I still depend on everything you say
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There are... so many pretty girls in the library right now... How can a man be blamed for getting distracted?
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My heart is breaking and I don't see the point in anything anymore
---
I do notice the bathrooms are pretty much fully booked during exam season. I think nervous-exam-diarrhea is a common thing! Let's not feel ashamed!! :)
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to the person below, exams give me diarrhoea too! i cant handle the nerves! surely this must be quite common...?
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First slaggy moment girl. Please don't worry. My cousin saw me giving his friend a blow job in a wood pile and everyone's over it. It's all about how nice, interesting and caring you are, not the lolz things you do when you're drunk.
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I am picturing so many people naked right now. I get the worst library lust.
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I fancy someone from The Quays ;)
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exams give me the squits too! I'm not alone!! :D
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My facebook is empty, no one posts on my wall, I'm tagged in no pictures. My birthday's coming up soon...no one will post. Nothing makes me feel more of a loser/loner than facebook.
---
I've been terrified that I was going to fail my exams next week, but today things actually started to come together in my head, and I'm not so scared anymore. I can do this.
---
Sometime when I look at you I want to cry because I remember how much I love you. Other times I wonder what on earth I ever saw in you.
---
I don't know what I want from you, but every single time I speak to you I'm disappointed. It's like I expect you to make me feel better about my life and you end up making it exponentially worse.
---
Today I realised that I really don't like the person I'm turning out to be. I'm self absorbed, antiosocial, short tempered, aggressive and turning out to be a complete bitch. I honestly don't know why I have such close friends.
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Just promising myself next year will be better.
---
I can't sustain friendships...I'm not a horrible, boring person...I can't take it any more. I've spent the whole morning crying like a baby. I need someone who I can talk to, who will care about me...
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I only wanted to come to university so I was away from my parents long enough to kill myself. When they found out how I felt they made me promise not to. Now everything just feels slightly pointless. The only thing stopping me is the fact I don't have any friends: no one would miss me or find me until my room was cleaned.
---
My boyfriend came back from the bathroom yesterday morning with a piece of loo paper stuck to his bum. It kind of depresses me when I think about it
---
I am entertaining myself over exam period by growing out my leg and underarm hair. It's actually pretty entertaining.
---
Exams give me diarrhoea. Every year. I wish this was a joke.
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I never knew the word "no" could hurt so much until I heard it from you. You broke my heart and you don't even realise.
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If you had been less of a ****, there would have been no competition. Your downfall is your own fault. Now stop taking it out on everyone around you.
---
I had my first slaggy moment...I feel my reputation has been ruined...how will anyone respect me now?
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Scared of seeming too interested in case you feel differently- I don't want to scare you away.
---
I think you mean far more to me than I do to you. You're almost too perfect for me...
---
I fancy this gorgeous girl from tees. Too nervous to talk to her but she is so cute :) Maybe one day I'll have the guts to do it!
---
I have NO motivation
---
I love post a secret. It's more gripping than a soap opera
---
im not sure i can make the final push to graduate. so tired.
---
I love Mildert :) there need to be more happy things on this page.
---
"I've got a massive crush on a Mildertian..." Just speak to him. Get to know him. Unless he is a complete ass he will probably be happy to talk to you. And so what if he realizes. It could turn out that he likes you as well. Worst that happens is that you will get a no and then move on. But then there is always the best that could happen. In the mean time while you mull that over see if you can become friends. Be true to yourself.
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I hate MILDERT!!!!!!!!
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Don't you think it's time you got over yourself?
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You might not be talking to me... but if you are I don't want to kill you. I want you to be happy.
---
You dropped me easily once someone better came along and now i feel worthless
---
So what if you think she deserves better than you? There's no such thing as a perfect man. If you like her and she likes YOU and wants to be with YOU then why not make her happy by giving her what she really wants and being with her? It's not complicated. If you think she's amazing, beautiful, funny, clever, caring, sexy; then what have you got to gain? Everything. And what have you got to lose? Nothing. If she's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside then she won't laugh at you, she won't mock you, she won't make things awkward. Worst case scenario: she's not interested but you'll make her feel special by telling her that you like her. Best case scenario: she likes you back and it's the start of something amazing. Don't be such a coward, just tell her how you feel... I bet she's waiting...
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You may want to kick my face in or kill me, but I still think you're amazing. I'm sorry for being such a dick. You deserve better than me.
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If you're talking to me, then yes I'm still interested. Text me, facebook message me, whatever, just let me know it's you who posted this.
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Life is unbelievably great now but it took 365 days to get here! hang in there if anything is getting you down!
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I hope you're still interested. I didn't want to seem too keen.
---
I wish I could give a compliment without sounding sarcastic.
---
Of course guys and girls can be just good friends. Not everyone has an ulterior motive. Thinking that they can't be is a mark of insecurity and immaturity.
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Can girls and guys seriously be 'just good friends'. There'll always be a bit of sexual tension...
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just when I thought it couldn't get any more depressing...
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your tears are my tears
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I want to destroy him for what he is doing to you. But you don't even realise he is the cause. How can you not see that this is his revenge?
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How can you not see what you are doing to me?
---
it hurts when you're down
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"The thing is, I know I'm going to fall in love with you. The hardest part is knowing I can never have you. And knowing that I don't deserve you. You're like a beautiful hurricane of intelligence and laughter and blunt wonderfulness. Your eyes are something else. I'll be content with friendship, but I'd do anything for you. Please don't get fed up of me." So tell her!
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Oh I will. Just you wait.
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Some days I think you like me - we chat like I matter to you and the world is wonderful. Other days you ignore me and treat me just like everyone else, leaving me hurt. Please make up your mind before I go entirely mental.
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I'm a Christian and always will be but I'm sick to death of feeling guilty about my thoughts and things I do. Surely it's not supposed to be like this?! I'm slowly but surely destroying all self-esteem......
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I've got a massive crush on a Mildertian I don't know anything about. I feel like such a stalker, but I just don't know how to approach him... Afraid he's going to realize I'm looking or that one of my friends is going to say something (it's already almost happened), and yet I kind of want to stop just quietly obsessing like a freak.
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I think our college looks like a 1970s Community Centre. Just saying.
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"And knowing that I don't deserve you." Stay in there mate! what you think the world is like may not be the case. accepting this has made my life.
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Marry me.
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To the guy blowing bubbles behind Middleton: you intrigue me. And you have a beautiful face, don't hid it with your hair.
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Me and my girl are gonna run away and form a hip-hop collective. Just gotta grow our beards first.
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The thing is, I know I'm going to fall in love with you. The hardest part is knowing I can never have you. And knowing that I don't deserve you. You're like a beautiful hurricane of intelligence and laughter and blunt wonderfulness. Your eyes are something else. I'll be content with friendship, but I'd do anything for you. Please don't get fed up of me.
---
I accidentally want to get a first.
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I just stripped on chatroulette for a 17-year-old danish boy. What am I doing with my life?
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I wonder if my girlfriend wrote any of these...
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I try to be accepting and supportive, and I'd never say it to your face... but honestly, I think your religion is just plain stupid and it makes me sad to see you spend so much time and energy on it.
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Today is 16th,Feb Valentines Formal. After Klute, I saw two guys kissing at the corridor outside the gym. I want to say to them: Don't feel embarrassed!! You have the courage of telling the person that you like him. That's AWESOME!! I am not brave enough to tell the boy that I love him...... xxx
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I had brunch in college without paying for a meal ticket. Naughty.
---
I don't know why we're back here again. I know you're not good for me and it's always me who gets hurt. When I'm with you I'm happy but half the time you treat me like shit and if I had any self-respect we wouldn't be in this mess again. I don't know what to do.
---
I think people in my corridor think I am weird, I am just different though. I am not sorry that I don't drink, it's a lifestyle choice which I like.
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There is a boy, I said hello to him every time when I saw him last term. But sometimes he seemed to pretend not noticing me. I decided not to say hello to him anymore. I feel guilty at the same time... maybe he didn't notice me for real.... confused
---
I still wonder how different I could've been if you hadn't hurt me so much.
---
I want to have a house party for my birthday, but I'm too scared in case nobody tuns up..
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I still like you, but you don't even notice me any more. I'd rather be friends than lose you completely.
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god damn it. something has to change here!
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I have a massive girl crush and I'm scared I'm going to do something stupid when I'm drunk.
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I suggested we meet up, you said you were interested in me and I haven't followed up. I still fancy you though :)
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Reading secrets with you makes me feel closer to you but then, I start to wonder if you posted any of them and it makes me sad.
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I'm too afraid to tell her how I feel, because the hope that something could happen is the only thing that keeps me going.
---
Since coming to uni my opinion of boys has gone massively downhill
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I am finally, finally officially over you. YES.
---
I HATE the Harcombe diet
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I have a cheese fetish
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Oh, that did not help one bit.
---
It's not that I'm regretting Durham, Mildert or my course. But I know I could be enjoying it so much more.
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Yesterday I was talking with a friend. She was saying how there was this guy she really liked but she wasn't good enough for, and I told her she was good enough and she seemed happier. Then she asked if I liked anyone or had any dark secrets. I said no, and I feel really bad for lying. But I didn't want to say how I fell head over heels for a guy who I used to talk to all the time. Because I didn't want to say we mainly talked about my self harm. And I didn't want to tell you I was gay. I'm really sorry.
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I try and get you through all life's difficulties by always being there for you. But you never even say thank you, and now I'm starting to think it's not cos you care, it's just you take advantage of me.
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I hate not being able to talk to you anymore. I hate not being able to see you and make you feel special. I am lost without you.
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I post fake secrets...
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I was awake the whole time you were doing all that filthy stuff to me whilst you thought I was asleep, and I was loving every kinky second of it ;)
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i'm tired of living, but scared to die. i dont know what to do with my life anymore. i just keep pushing away the only person who understands and loves me, for the simple reason that its the only thing that i know. help me please someone, im begging you
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I think I'm too masculine to get a boyfriend...
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I exhibit sloth like behaviour and it worries me :(
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It's all becoming very tiring and one sided. I'm scared of it all falling apart.
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I'm sorry but I'm honestly trying my best and making me feel like shit isn't helping. Trust me I hate myself more than you could ever hate me.
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Please will people stop getting with me if they don't want to be in a relationship with me. Seriously leading someone on is not cool.
---
Made the mistake of falling in love with a girl, I thought we had a real future together, only for her to turn around one day and break up with me because she had too many commitments and I was the first thing to be cut loose. I won't ever make the same mistake again.
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She is a bitch, a real bitch, but I love the way she is too cowardly to even face me any more, because she knows what she's thrown away. Tough luck!
---
I always hold things close to my chest, not because i'm afraid of getting hurt or people making fun of me, but because i'm a private person. I don't want people to know what i'm thinking. Here's a quote by Michael Korda: 'The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by other people's rules, while quietly playing by your own.' ;)
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"I'm scared that no-one will want to live with me next year and I'm too scared to ask the people I think of as friends in case they say no..." Ask them! Trust me; I've been there. Being scared they'd say no was why I delayed asking them, and by the time I was sure they liked me enough to say yes, they'd already started sorting things out without me. Don't leave it too long - you'll regret it.
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Dave Harper's a babe ;)
---
I cried at the end of The Only Way is Essex!
---
I know I'm being ridiculous, but this doesn't change how I feel.
---
Living with two utterly twatish guys. Brilliant.
---
Determined to reach my goal of 50 conquests by the end of term - rugby boys watch out!!!
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I'm scared that no-one will want to live with me next year and I'm too scared to ask the people I think of as friends in case they say no...
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Sometimes I feel so emotionally empty it makes me feel sick. I just want to feel loved, not used
---
I wish I could live on a desert island with palm trees and sun :) Would love to leave it allll behind *sigh*
---
I wish you'd talk to me. I miss you sometimes. If I could have explained then maybe it would have been ok, but I'm too used to hiding things to stop now. I wanted to trust you.
---
Everyone always tells me how much of a "mum" I am... I wish they realised it's because I don't like who I am and helping other people makes me feel better about it.
---
just pushed away a guy I really like. It was either that or let him get to know me better, which is far too risky right now, I feel so vulnerable after my last two crazy boyfriends.
---
i miss you, so much it hurts. and there's another part of me wondering if there's anything to miss.
---
I've just stumbled across this page and I'm amazed by what people say under the cloak of anonymity! Surely if you're so affected by your noisy corridor-mates or strange house-mates then you should talk them personally rather than on here? I'm sure they'd appreciate it more and would understand if you had a genuine problem to bring up with them :)
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I don't have any secrets but I like reading them. I feel like a better person here and I never want to go home. Also, my dad had an affair when I was 17. I was the only person that found out and I never told anyone. I wonder if they're still in touch.
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Why is it deemed acceptable in Durham to randomly knock on peoples' doors and ask to look round their house? I don't want to stop everything I'm doing just to suit you. And a flutter of the eyelashes won't work either- get some manners.
---
I can't cope anymore with the crazy mood swings of my girlfriend. I don't love her and I don't understand her emotions. The only reason I'm still with her is for the sex and because I feel that I can't leave her. I feel trapped in this relationship. I want to leave her but I think that if I do then she'll have a massive emotional breakdown and I don't want to have to deal with that. I hope that the damn woman will read this, get the hint, and jog on.
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"People think I'm one of the biggest sluts, but they don't know that meaningless sex is all I can get and deserve. I want so much for people to see the real me; to like me; to love me, but all they see is a whore. I just want to be wanted." - I sympathise totally, as I'm just the same. Are there any decent guys/girls out there who want to treat us right and make us feel special?
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"I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and need to take medication to control it but I fear that if I do I won't be the same person anymore" Read the book "An Unquiet Mind", it directly confronts your issue with medication from someone who has experienced it first hand their whole life. It may save your life.
---
Who are these people who get angry at the noise in College because they are trying to 'work'? Just chill out a bit, you don't have to be a work-Nazi to get a first, just cram before exams...
---
I managed to stay friends with a guy I really liked last year, become good friends with his girlfriend and keep the whole thing secret from them both. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Now I'm scared that I've got so used to hiding my feelings that I'm not going to be able to open up to the guy I like at the moment. Sometimes I'm convinced that nobody's going to want to go out with me, but at other times I realise that's not true, I have as much to offer as any other girl, and there's no real reason why the current guy wouldn't be interested... which one is right?
---
I don't know what to do. I'm a mess.
---
i envy you. would that i were you- even though maybe you think it's the other way around.
---
There is only one thing wrong with university right now. You. Everything else is great. Please think of that next time before you tell me stories of your "night time adventures" with all the juicy details. Because frankly love, I don't give a shit.
---
sports guys are cheaters
---
My housemate is a massive slut and after more than a year she still thinks nobody knows. But we all do. So there, stop assuming we´re utterly retarded! PS: AND STOP STEALING MY CHOCOLATE!!! :´(
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I started a casual relationship with a guy on my corridor last year and ended up falling for him. Now we're living out together, he sees other girls but we're still friends with benefits. I feel used, but I can't stop because I like him so much...I want to say how I feel but I don't want to ruin what we already have or make it awkward in the house...massive dilemma!
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"I love the idea of being a slave for a woman, but daren't let anyone know because everyone will think i'm weird! I think i'm the only one into weird stuff like that!". Your not, I feel exactly the same way but am far too scared to tell anyone
---
I wish i was in The Quays.
---
The reason why I choose to come to UK is to get away from you, but it seems that you just can't fuck off...
---
After everything you've done and continue to do, the way you still treat me, I shouldn't but I still love you...
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Why am I doing this degree? I want to go home where all my real friends and family are and live the life I was suppose to.
---
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks the Earth Science bathrooms are so good! :)
---
I have some sort of problem with my feet, but am afraid to say anything because I know it will probably mean another surgery. I can't go back to that time in my life.
---
It wasn't really you I was crying over.
---
fml
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"Does anyone else think that the Earth Sciences bathrooms are really nice?" thanks for the tip off, I've been going to geography for my lavatorial pleasures.
---
I think I'm going to come off as a massive slag, which I guess in truth I am.... but I just really like having sex. Is that such a bad thing?
---
Feel like it will take me forever to settle in here. I'm just crap at making friends, and probably make a horrible first impression because i just don t feel myself around people that i dont know. Miss home so so much.
---
You can't even trust yourself to be alone in the same room as me. Ha. Grow up you pathetic little boy.
---
Does anyone else think that the Earth Sciences bathrooms are really nice?
---
I spent my whole student loan on Jagerbombs last night. FML
---
I am a tv cliche: a narcisstic, apathetic self-hater with a superiority complex who cheats on women
---
Now my girlfriend's graduated and moved away I feel like I can't have fun without her. I just want to go to bed so I'm closer to the next time we can talk :( missing you so much
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I love the idea of being a slave for a woman, but daren't let anyone know because everyone will think i'm weird! I think i'm the only one into weird stuff like that!
---
change your mind.
---
I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with what feels to be a continual lack of progression. I wish things could go back to the way they used to be.
---
I feel uncomfortable in my own home because of you. I stay shut away in my room all the time because you stress me out. I feel like your human punch bag. It's getting to the point now where I like you less as a friend, and you don't even realise. Or worse, care.
---
I pissed on tee's lawn. Sorry guys
---
dear Cute Boy Who Sometimes Smokes Beneath My Window - stop it, i'm trying to get some work done
---
i have this weird compulsion where i hate myself but i also think i'm better than everyone else. it has intensified since coming to durham.
---
People think I'm one of the biggest sluts, but they don't know that meaningless sex is all I can get and deserve. I want so much for people to see the real me; to like me; to love me, but all they see is whore. I just want to be wanted.
---
I have two: 1). Basically, I'm an idiot. I go around wanting people to fall in love with me, getting depressed when they don't, and leading them on before deciding they're not good enough when they do. 2). Everyone thinks I'm quite experienced sexually, but the truth is I'm terrified that I might be shit at it, so I play along.
---
I'm not annoyed with you. I'm annoyed with the situation I'm in. Which is, admittedly, mostly your fault.
---
I'm so glad that nothing happened between us. The more people tell me about you and the more I see you for who you really are, the more disgusted I am by you. I can't believe that I actually used to like you...
---
I hide how stressed out I am from you, because you have far too much to deal with already.
---
I did something I regret and now feel like people won't treat me the same, even though only a few people know about it.
---
I don't understand why you're so horrible to me all the time. I always think it must just be my imagination: how can anyone possibly be so bad for no apparent reason? So I make excuses for you and forgive you but you come back and hurt me all over again.
---
I'm so stressed right now, with work and various responsibilities and family stuff, that I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. I keep telling you I'm fine, but the truth is that when you're not around, I just feel ready to break down.
---
She had no sex drive compared to mine, and after six months we broke up. I tell myself it was for other reasons but I'm not so sure, I feel so shallow and I miss that lovely girl; if I could, I'd take you back in a second.
---
When I was small, I compulsively stole toys of my friends. I got away with it usually.
---
I regret not kissing her when I had a chance. Damn my morals.
---
I really like you, but I know you're not right for me.
---
I miss my ex-ex-ex-girlfriend. I've been in love with her for the last four years and now I feel more separated from her than ever.
---
i'm in love with my house mate. we lived on the same corridor last year and we he decided to live with me instead of the other girls on our corridor i thought it meant he liked me. he's now slept with another girl from the same corridor and its eating me up inside. knowing that you don't love me back is eating me up inside. you were my everything and now i have nothing. nothing to keep me here anymore. i wish i'd never met you.
---
You ignore me until you need something, and then play the cute girl act. It's not clever or funny.
---
To the person who 'plans to go anorexic': I don't think that word means what you think it does. You do not 'choose' to go anorexic. And by the sounds of it, you have NO IDEA what you are wishing for. Anorexia is not simply a case of not eating until you're thin, it's a case of not eating because food makes you feel dirty. Because every time you look in the mirror you see a 20 stone fat person NO MATTER how thin you are. For some people it's about control- they feel as if the only aspect of their life they have any control over is their food, so they don't eat. Please understand that anorexia takes over your WHOLE life. You want to be thin? Then do it the healthy way. Eat a healthy diet (fewer chips and pizzas, more fruit and vegetables, but don't forget- they have calories too) and do some exercise- join a sports club or something. And don't expect the results to be instantaneous. It'll be a few months before you see any changes but you have to be patient if you really want it, because, trust me, you really don't want anorexia. Here is a story for you: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anorexia-nervosa/Pages/Realstorypg.aspx Read it and take note- she lost weight but also suffered hair loss, cracked and bleeding skin, her periods stopped and she now shows the signs of early osteoporosis. I seriously hope you're trolling. If not, for God's sake, educate yourself before you come out with such flippant comments about a very serious mental health issue.
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whoever wished someone would die- fricking dont. nothing feels worse. even 6months later, nothing is worse than having the actual love of your life, soul mate, die. Even now my heart breaks as though it is the first time. everyone thinks Im ok but hearktbreak is the most subtle of all. the killer of all hope.xxxx
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Seeing you tonight, I'm so glad I didn't go any further. It is clear you go for anything with a pulse. I deserve and have better. :)
---
I don't like socials and I just ignore the invitations if I don't have an actual excuse. I want to make friends at societies, but Planet of Sound isn't the place I want to do it.
---
I am addicted to porn
---
I can't help but feel like you have something personal against me, just because of who I am.
---
I need you. Always.
---
Once at the breakfast,I met a really nice guy. He smiled to me and I smiled back, then we didn't talk at all. I feel so sorry about that! He might think that I disliked him and didn't want to make friends with him. I am so so sorry about that !!
---
I really miss being in college - not because of the cooking or cleaning or not having to worry about bills, but because it meant I got to see all of you every day. I wish I were living with you instead.
---
I watched this person steal my bread yesterday from the fridge, so I started stealing food from other fridges. Sweet.
---
I really hate someone and I can't tell them because they think we're best friends...
---
Just die. You little shit.
---
I'd really love to meet someone who doesn't drink...
---
I wish one of my house-mates would do something useful for once
---
I doubt my faith.
---
I hate myself more than anything else in the world. Everyone tells me how amazing I am, but its not true, Im so shit at everything, my best is never good enough, it never will be. I want to be the person who everybody loves, and wants to be with, and is confident and always happy and bubbly, and i try to pretend but I'm so much more fucked up than anyone will ever understand.
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I know you hate me, and of course I deserve it. But this has gone on so long that I just don't give a fuck any more. Also, I have recently decided that you are a complete moron. So there.
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I doubt my faith. I want to believe, but I have seen and done things that make me doubt.
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I've worked as a prostitute.
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I don't care what people think of me, I'm not insecure, but it's not fair for someone to make an assumption about you when they haven't ever spoken to you. Stop judging me based on hearsay and actually get to know me, otherwise but the fuck out of my business.
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I am so annoyed with you right now. I've written the reasons here twice already but couldn't post them because it would be so obvious that it was me. You've filled me with so much hatred and we're meant to be friends. Great. Thanks Guys.
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Last term I posted that often had a fleeting compulsion to throw myself off Elvet bridge. I no longer feel like that. I'm really happy and those dark thoughts have gone, even though nothing has really changed other than my state of mind. So to anyone feeling shit right now, take it from me that with time it will get better.
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i dont actually enjoy sex. its just... a compulsion
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They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But when that person is on the other side of the world, distance can sometimes make the heart apathetic. And I never wanted that to happen.
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Last year I really liked a Mildert guy, so in the end I told him, but he turned me down :( But nevermind... A few days later I spent the weekend having wild and hot sex with one of his friends xD Daaamn those sports guys are good in bed!!
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all my friends think its amazing how confident I am....when in reality its a case of 'fake it till you feel it'....just about start feeling it now but there is one person who just makes me a shy all over again- literally dont know how to talk to him!!
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If you spend your nights being really loud in accommodation blocks (where you know that lots of people are trying to work or sleep), you are a fucknugget of the highest degree, and deserve (at the very least) harsh punishment at the hands of the state. And when I play Grand Theft Auto on my laptop at the weekends (after I've done all my work that you missed out on while you were being a prick), I find the fattest, stupidest mob boss, and run around slapping him for hours, before finally running him over in a stolen Caddie. And I imagine he is you, the anonymous dickhead who ruined several hours of my life.
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I really really like you but your rubbish in bed :( it's so frustrating!
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I've spent all day alone, and most of it in tears. No one noticed I wasn't around- not even my 'best' friends picked up on my absence. I've fucked everything up, one last time and without the possibilty of redemption, and there's nothing left to do but live with it. I don't have any one else left to blame, and I'm alone. I have 'friends', but no one left I'm truly comfortable with, truly connect with. I retreat into myself because I have no one to turn to. Every waking moment is an effort, because anyone who does talk to me requires the effort of a slighty uneasy aquaintance, the careful politeness you reserve for people you like but do not really 'know'. My whole life I've been able to talk myself out of trouble; I've never learnt that some things cannot be undone. I needed to learn, I guess, but I wish it hadn't been now. Mostly I reassure myself that I can cope alone. Focus on work, lose myself in ambition, nights out and emotional intimacy don't matter. But inside I don't think I can. I can't hide from myself how unhappy I am, how lonely it is here. I'm not close to anyone at home either, so I don't even have holidays to look forward to. Term time is worse, because there are people everywhere reminding me of how alone I am, in the most deep-seated sense. I don't want to be here anymore: I'd do anything to start again. Every morning I wake up and prepare a painted smile to greet the world with, and there's no one left who cares enough to notice that my eyes are empty behind the obnoxious laugh and brass cockiness. The past has had more of an impact on my behaviour than I'd allowed myself to realise. I've spent years hiding behind excuses of having a fucked up background, and its taken me until now to realise that people notice, and are hurt by, your actions in the present- excuses only go so far and I've come resoundingly to the limit of mine. I'm not being self-pitying, but I needed to express this somehow. I've always read the postSecret with interest, guilty voyeurism of others' subjectivity, but today is 'exactly' why it's such an important resource. Talking on here allows the illusion that you have someone who will listen, and sometimes you need to believe in that. I can hear the music of the bop mixing with laughter and shouts from here: nothing reminds you of loneliness more so than other people. I wonder how many people over there are feeling like this. I'm generally the 'loud' one, laughing and shouting with the rest of them, and I know all too well how different it can feel inside.
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I wish I was that girl who likes to drink and party, but what I Like the most is in fact coming back to my room, chilling out with music, the X factor and then going to sleep. No alcohol, no late night, I don't care if it is boring, but at least I am not broke, and I can remember what I did last night and don't wake up feeling like I am going to throw up.
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I am chubby and my plans are to go anorexic. I don't care what others will think of me. I just want to be thin, it makes me happy. So, guess what people, you will have to just deal with it. You may want to stop and stare, go ahead, it won't change me.
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you are the friend I did not expect to lose
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My dad's in prison, and I haven't told anyone. Not my new friends in Durham, or my old friends back home, because of what he's in prison for...
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I was sick in the cathedral at matriculation!
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And you two will never understand the pain you put me through. I trusted both of you. And look at where that got me...
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Everytime I let my heart out to a girl, I get well and truly messed about. Yet I still do it. I fall for every single one that shows an interest in me. She thinks I'm perfect. I decide she's worth all my kindness, my dedication, my trust, all my effort. I think she's unbelievable. And then she too goes and ****s me over. I really start to wonder whether it's just not meant to be, with anyone.
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I can't speak English very well and sometimes I have no idea what other people are talking about. I guess my corridor mates may think that I am as hard as nails because I talk not much(but they are all sweet people) I should practice more about my English and try to get involed!
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I'm not having as "amazing" a time on my Year Abroad as I like to make people beleve. In fact, I'm very lonely and isolated, and miss Durham constantly.
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I prefer not to socialise and study and don't like drinking.
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I always thought I was a judgemental person and a "people-hater", coming to Mildert confirmed and intensified this. The cliques, the popularity contest...get over it the world is so much bigger than Mildert and the Durham bubble...but then again, I often wonder if I feel this way simply because I am jealous of the "cliques" and the "popular" people...??
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I cried last night because I left Bratz the movie at home :(
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I hate you more than anything on this Earth
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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I have faked every single orgasm. I love him to pieces and don't want to lose him so could never tell him now. I also worry that one day i'll feel like i'm missing out so much I may cheat :(
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I know how fake you are. I know you think youre better than me. You don't know I have cracked you. I love how you hate the fact I do better than you in every aspect of my life, I love that it gets to you. P.S: Clean up your crap, I'm sick of it lying around the house.
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every once in a while... everyone just needs a good shag. don't underestimate how horny girls can get!
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I'm in a relationship but can't stop looking elsewhere. He hasn't done anything wrong, I just wish he was better looking.
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DEAL WITH IT
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In a drunken stupor I once urinated out of Tees Top Floor kitchen window into someone's bedroom window. I'm sorry, I'm a dick, I just can't help myself.
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Peeing in the shower turns me on
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Looks like this is closing, so here is my secret: there's a girl, my best friend, I really really like her, have done for well over a year, I want to be with her more than anything. But she has a boyfriend, a guy I know well. The thing is, I get the very strong feeling that she likes me too. I am convinced that we would be together right now if it wasn't for him. It's weird. I see them together all the time and it's breaking me. They broke up a while back, just when I thought things had settled enough for me to make a move they got back together. Can't express how much I hate myself for not telling her how I feel back when she was single. She's the only girl I've felt this way about, and now I think I've lost her. This is all I ever seem to think about, and frankly, it sucks.
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I'm actually 37
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I just want you to know that I love you, and that I hate not being able to tell you that.
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There is nothing wrong with crying over stolen milk. The person who stole it is a thief.
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I like you, but I don't have the confidence to tell you!
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i can nearly bench more than someone who goes to the gym regularly-yeee
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The girl I am getting with is outrageously stupid
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I am worried that my continual sarcastic attitude is really destroying my relationship with a great guy I really care about. Hopefully he will come back to me soon. Miss you xxxx
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It's strange how someone can be so important and yet so unimportant to me... it's reassuring, it lets me know that I'm not falling and have not fallen in love with them, but that they still matter. I like this person, I'm not going to fuck it up with anything more complicated than that.
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"Do you still feel anything for me, or should I move on and be happy that you once did?" If you're talking about me then yes I do... Ask and find out?
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I know it seems like I always do that sort of thing. But it was different with you. I just don't know how to tell you.
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I want your relationship to rot into nothingness
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I cheated on my last boyfriend, now I'm scared I'll do the same in the future
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i don't get doctor who
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I have a superiority complex
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Do you still feel anything for me, or should I move on and be happy that you once did?
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Stop crying over stolen milk!
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i'm finally happy here, now i dont want to leave and move back home cos i know it'll be so depressing
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dont commit suicide. seriously! there is ALWAYS something to live for. live for ben and jerrys if nothing else. (even though its not on offer anymore, boo...)
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I think people should stop peeing in the shower...
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i'm so happy you're in love but i wish you still considered me your best friend. i miss you
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I feel exactly the same. None seems to understand how important my grandparents were to me, not even my parents understand. The expectation of death and that fact that it was 'painless' doesn't make up for the fact that they're gone and they're never coming back.
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one day i will commit a suicide because of my brother
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I really miss my Grandad, but don't feel as if i can talk about it because you should expect grandparents to die, but i really miss him and think about him every day. I wish that i could see him again and tell him how much he meant to me, he really was wonderful
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I also cried on my birthday...
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Everything in my life hasn't turned out quite as good as I imagined/wanted it to, and thats one of the saddest things I have had to deal with.
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I HATE ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO PEE IN THE SHOWER AND MAKE IT STINKY. YOU SUCK. :'(
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Who doesn't pee in the shower??
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I hate you, and one day I will actually tell you exactly what I think of you and maybe you'll finally leave me alone!
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There are so many secrets here about falling in love, but being too afraid to say anything about it. At this rate, it's wonder the human race has survived at all! Do something about your feelings, while you still have the chance. You won't regret it.
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really want to tell the 'black-haired male server' how popular he has become every time i see him
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There is one guy in this college I would love to punch in his stupid face
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i hate my dad, i hate how he could be so selfish, i wish i could just remove him completely from my life, he doesn't deserve his family
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I also pee in the shower.
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What the hell is the point in studying this stupid subject if it can't help me in my everyday life? Yes the worlds resources and my time levels are kind of a different issue, but surely the principle is the same. What the hell do you do when you realise you've done it all wrong and that there is little that you can do to change it other than stand there banging your head against a door?
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I like you, but don't trust you
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I feel guilty about being happy.
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I am the person who stole the milk from Middleton Ground Floor. It was delicious and I've got my eye on the new bottle i saw you buy from the shop...
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I hate this gal. y does she always act like she is my best friend?
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I love him but I keep competing with him. I don't want his results to be higher than mine. Dunno y. In turn, he is trying to do his best as I told him that I want my man to be better than me...
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I'm terrified my sister will never get the chance to become a mother. Her biological clock is ticking and she's with the wrong man. She would be fantastic
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i wrote before about a certain 3rd year who wants to shag me. now im emotionally and physically conflicted as i recently banged a 2nd year. im gagging for some more sex, but who to choose?
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I am addicted to Fruit Ninja.
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I'm sorry. I thought I loved you, but it was only after you gave up too much for me that I realised that I didn't. And now I don't know whether to tell you it was all for nothing. I don't want to hurt you.
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i'm starting to fall for a person I never thought i would. and now, i don't know what to do about it..
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I got my mum to send me the high school musical boxset up.....
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you don't know the half of it
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I need to find someone else so that I can finally and properly move on. I wish you would leave Durham-that would help a lot too!
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I like drops of jupiter
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I pee in the shower
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I pretend to find exams harder than I actually do, so that my friends who do the same subject won't hate me.
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i want to tear up my room, my work, pretty much just everything. i can't do this work. i can't understand it and i can't concentrate on it. its just words on a piece of paper. i want to leave. this just isn't me!
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I PUT THE HAND IN WEAR GROUND FLOOR WINDOW..........
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I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse
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if you transpose the words, i love el lion
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I'm starting to fall for one of my friends, but why would he ever feel the same about me?
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I have now joined team reem
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I think my girlfriend's a lesbian :O
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Today, I realised that not doing the same subjects as most of my friends means they don't know how smart I am... they just see the fact that I don't do very much work and don't understand why. Exam results day is going to be pretty fun.
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I'm sorry. I really want you. But we can't. x
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My girlfriend is the silliest person ever. I worry sometimes that she is incapable of being sensible and well-behaved.
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"Too many people here are preoccupied with love. The reason you haven't found it, or when you thought you had haven't felt it, is because it doesn't exist. What you call love was invented and it propogated by religion to justify sex; by artists to romanticize the procreation; by politicans to maintain familial order; by advertizers to sell perfume. You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. Don't forget them. Live like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one." You've never been in love...
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I'd love to join in with the frisbee games behind Tees in the evenings, but I don't know any of the players that well, and I have no hand-eye coordination... it would be embarrassing...
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I secretly love exams. The reason:- at the moment i'm having study sessions with 2 mildert guys doing my subject. This means hours of one-on-one time and this is all on top of guy 1.0, 3.0, and 4.0 that im also having to juggle .... life can be stressful!
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You make me physically sick. It's hard to believe that people like you really exist. But they do.
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I hope the people who play frisbee EVERY NIGHT and scream like banchees fail there exams.
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Sometimes I think about just kicking it in and going into caring for the elderly or disabled. Much more rewarding than the persuit of money.
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I'm falling in love with you. I want every hug to end in a kiss, every look to say "I love you too". My heart skips a beat when you talk to me. But even if you feel it too I'll never know because we both know we can't be together. And it's killing me.
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The worst kind of bullying is not that which castigates you for being who you are, but which prevents you from becoming that to begin with. The former is a disease of the skin. The latter is a disease of the heart, and epidemic at uni. Don't let it in.
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Too many people here are preoccupied with love. The reason you haven't found it, or when you thought you had haven't felt it, is because it doesn't exist. What you call love was invented and it propogated by religion to justify sex; by artists to romanticize the procreation; by politicans to maintain familial order; by advertizers to sell perfume. You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. Don't forget them. Live like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one.
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I know who's been taking milk from the Derwent fridges!!!
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None of my clothes fit me any more. I think i'm too hench?!?
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I put the screw in the tuna
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the annual goldrush makes me feel inadequate.
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I am afraid that my lover is a gay...
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Feeling messed around is stopping me from revising for my exams. I still love you...
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I am going to fail. horribly. all becuase of you.
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I wish my housemates above me would stop having ridiculously loud and vigorous sex; it's really putting to the test the structural integrity of both the bed and my ceiling. I would be rather irritated if I lose my 250quid deposit due to constructional damage initiated by an overly enthusiastic pelvic-thrust which caused mass repurcussions for both bed and the relatively thin plaster-board ceiling...
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Durham's shite for meeting girls - can't really date in freshers as if you break up you have to live with seeing them for the rest of the year. Living out means you hardly meet anyone new. And 3rd year is pointless to start a long-term relationship as you'll be fucking off at the end of the year. Plus you can't really get much going with girls you meet in lectures. Sigh. It's going to be and my inflatable companion with a page 3 girls face plastered over it when I hit 45. Maybe I'll buy a shitload of snakes as well just for the hell of it.
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I think I'm falling for my next door neighbour. The problem is he's got a fiancé :(
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i'm really sorry about the guitar! don't hate the playa....
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The spiders that dwell between the panes of our double-glazed windows freak me out!
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I had sex in a Derwent toilet. Classy huh?
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My great grandfather is Al Capone.
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I've been using the exams as an excuse- I don't really like Tap. I've told people my level is really high but this is not true. I don't know what to do
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I can't really take part in sport since my brother finally got through to the fact that I can't really run, catch or throw (his misogyny frustrated me immensely) and that upset me for quite a long time. However, it's time to break the trend and release a happy secret! All is good since I discovered my love for Yoga!! I manage to stay in shape and have fantastic banter with all my friends, woopee!!! :D
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I hate people who play the guitar all day and all night!
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I have an irrational hatred of fresher rahs who walk around pretending to revise in clothes which (I think) are supposed to look like pyjamas.
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i worry that my boyfriend wrote some of these secrets, but if he did i hope he stays with me, even though its all a lie, as i cant live without him
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I still like him although he's a complete douchebag who I've spent so long trying to forget about.
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I suffer from depression but i'm scared that if i take drugs for it i'll end up on them for life and people will judge me as being weak for taking what they see as the "easy way out"...
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I just want a boyfriend.
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I had sex on an ergo :P
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Why are people so shy ?
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I have an exam this afternoon and instead of revising for it im posting a secret
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I'm so glad people here havn't figured out what they did at school - if you poke my tummy I squeek really embarrassingly!
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I had a compulsive lying problem as a kid but I had it counselled out of me. I now can't let myself tell even a white lie in case this sets it off again. Which creates problems when I have to keep certain things a secret. If anybody asked me, I wouldn't be able to lie about it! I hate secrets.
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I used to hide under the tables on the train on the way to school so I could keep my train money to spend on sweets.
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I have this really annoying hair that keeps growing on my chin no matter how many times I pluck it out!
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I think I'm developing an eating disorder. I don't know how to stop... because I still want to lose weight, and I want to go back to doing that in a healthy way, but I feel myself getting too caught up with it.
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It's no secret that I hate censorship, but perhaps it's a secret that VM censors this 'free' forum...? Jeeesus I hate nothing more than liars who try to 'save' people by 'containing' material.
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I've never had sex or even kissed anyone. I just want to know what love is like and want this really hot girl (who's friends with quite a few of my friends, but i havent properly met) to show me. I always see her around and sometimes catch her eye. I can't wait till after exams when i can but hope to get an opportunity to chat with her.
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I watched the entire series of Wolverine and the X-Men this weekend instead of revising for my English exam, and now I'm going to fail
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His voice from the corridor is the best music for my ears. he doesn't even know about my feelings, nice guy, you are awesome!
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I had a baby between school and uni and he is now being raised as my brother.
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I don't think I'm a virgin.
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I saw her in Mildert Cabaret - and I fell in love with her!
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If you want to have a laugh, by all means do so, but not in one of the designated work rooms...
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I will actually be a bit gutted if I don't get a first, even though I don't really deserve it.
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"Slept with my lecturer. Let's just say next week's exam isn't going to be much of a problem." - major lad/ ladette points there
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I have a handle for the MCR doors and use it to open them every morning
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The soundtrack to my first and only relationship was Anywhere by Evanescence...
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I just lit a candle in my room. AHhhhH. So if the fire alarm goes off today, I'm really sorry everyone
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"I think people at Van Mildert need to stop pretending that they come from money. If you had money you would be in the Bailey...and your not! Buying things to try and show that you are wealthy doesn't work" - sausage
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I'm openly feminist but secretly want a boob job, even though I'm happy with mine the way they are, because I know the type of man I want to marry won't be.
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i wish i liked someone. i cant look at anyone since you did that to me. and i constantly look in the mirror, and am disgusted with myself
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I've gambled upwards of £750 while being here
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I walk around in college and people give me odd looks ... I wish everyone could stop and think about themselves in stead of judging others on their looks... it hurts to feel constantly judged ... it is the reason i can't wait to go home for the summer .. somewhere where people know me for who i am and dont judge by looks.. it's wrong.
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F.I.N.A.L.S. - F*** I Never Actually Learned this Sh**!
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"I hope the chef who put Halal meat on the menu fully understands the unnecessary slow painful death that the animals have suffered." Its none of your business.
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"I spend a lot of time slagging them, and the people who own them off, but I actually really want an iPad." This confirms my fears of people hating me for having an ipad, does getting it for free rather than buying one make it better or worse?
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Slept with my lecturer. Let's just say next week's exam isn't going to be much of a problem.
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My biggest fear is that, without realising it, I'm doing to you what he did to me.
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if you're having a shit time here, don't dwell on it. Get on with it, chill out, know you'll be a better and stronger person for having got on with something you could've pussied out of
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I sunbathe topless on my table! (The golfers never look up.)
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I love hearing the violin when I'm revising. It's so beautiful!
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''I really don't know what I'm doing here. I don't really like my course and have no clue what I'm going to do with it afterwards; I would change to something else but I'm scared the uni wouldn't let me because I'm not good enough'' - DO IT. I changed after 1st year (having not got the grades 1st time round). You'll not regret it
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I'm worried that I'll end up like my mother, this scares me more than anything else in the world.
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Everyone thinks i fancy this girl and try to get me to ask her out, but i dont like her that way. Dont know how to tell her.
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I'm SO excited!! I LOVE dancing, and (like a few of you) have had to give it up recently because of exams, so i'll definitely be out after my last one! Tap is my favourite, but i'm into absolutely anything xx
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I am proud to a survivor of the worse-for-wear building that is so quintessentially Van Mildert: Derwent!
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Re: "fuck you. she's mine. fuck the fuck right fucking off." I find this awfully romantic. :D
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The hardest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.
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I think I have a gambling problem, I have spent about £50 in the past two weeks on the IT box. I even stole money from a homeless guy in Druham to play
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If we were allowed to swear on here I would....I "flipping" hate the violin...if I hear it again whilst I am revising, I will rip the strings off before breaking it up into small pieces and setting it alight on a little raft and float it out into the middle of the lake
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I think people at Van Mildert need to stop pretending that they come from money. If you had money you would be in the Bailey...and your not! Buying things to try and show that you are wealthy doesn't work. Anybody can spot the difference between a real and fake bracelet from Tiffany!
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I love exams
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"fuck you. she's mine. fuck the fuck right fucking off." She's not to be owned by anyone, and can be with anyone. back off!
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I wish I could work up the nerve tell my boyfriend of two weeks that he has bed bugs. Because now I do too and the little fuckers won't stop biting me.
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I spend a lot of time slagging them, and the people who own them off, but I actually really want an iPad.
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I want us to be part of that 70%!
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I'm suffering with depression - for others as well, or even people just getting panicked about exams, things get better! As much as this is being used and abused to provide some light-hearted entertainment, I take solice in that I've got where I have being able to tackle any problems I have.
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If you want him to Make your heart sing out And if you want him to Only think of you Tell him that you're never gonna leave him Tell him that you're always gonna love him Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now (These lyrics are the only advise I'm gonna give you.)
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I really don't know what I'm doing here. I don't really like my course and have no clue what I'm going to do with it afterwards; I would change to something else but I'm scared the uni wouldn't let me because I'm not good enough
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I can't work out how to feel when I read this page. Sad I think.
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I cried when they blocked my secret
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I think I might be falling for you.
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the girl who is in love with her gay friend. the worst thing is that he acts like he loves me.......
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I love you
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I am worried sick about the exams, yet I still can't motivate myself to revise :( helpppp
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When I was 12 I had a chess grading of 1190.
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I tease boys about being gay/effeminate when I want to sleep with them because I find this makes them want to have sex with me too and try harder than usual to prove me wrong. Oh god, I am a manipulative bitch...
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Sometimes I think I have no willpower as instead of not snacking I just do exercise to make myself feel better about it.
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I'm fairly stressed about exams and just wanted to say so. I can't wait for a few weeks time but even then will be horrible waiting to see how badly ive done
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I don't live in college but often help myself to soup and a sandwich at lunch if I can get away with it :)
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I prefer family to friends. This scares me, as it means I will probably never form my own family.
---
I hope the chef who put Halal meat on the menu fully understands the unnecessary slow painful death that the animals have suffered.
---
Maybe it's all a lie but it's the closest thing i have got to happiness.
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I'm not dating who everyone thinks i'm dating...
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"I don't like them being overly obsessed with their religion - I find it patronising and they think they're better than me because of it. I don't understand why they think they're living a better life than me when they're letting religion control their life. And religion seems to cause a lot more harm than good - so many conflicts in the world today because of religious stuff. I can't talk about this to actual people in person because it's difficult for people to part with religious ideas that they have been brought up to hold as completely unfalsifiable. It makes me angry." - Me too!
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summer ball theme is monopoly
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I've never been in love either, don't worry ;)
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My teacher wrote some of my A level coursework.
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We stole the soup spoons...
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I think i'm in love with the wrong girl for all the right reasons. It's depressing :/
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I hate this strain we are under, but i hope you think we have been through enough for this to make us stronger. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you.
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I had amazing oral last night, but it's a secret, shhh!!
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"Crazy about her. She knows it. So does everyone else. But we dont talk about it :-(" tell her x
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I say I'm a 10 but half the time I have to get 12s! :O
---
It gets worse.
---
I was told at school that I shouldn't play the dumb blonde, when I got to mildert it was an easier than being myself. Now I really regret it as everyone thinks I'm stupid and no one listens to me.
---
I was better opinion about Van Mildert before coming here.
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When I was younger my brother cracked his head open. I'm certain that I tripped him up but my parents didn't believe me when I confessed. Older brother 1 Younger brother 0
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I've never been in love and now I'm scared I never will be
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I don't like them being overly obsessed with their religion - I find it patronising and they think they're better than me because of it. I don't understand why they think they're living a better life than me when they're letting religion control their life. And religion seems to cause a lot more harm than good - so many conflicts in the world today because of religious stuff. I can't talk about this to actual people in person because it's difficult for people to part with religious ideas that they have been brought up to hold as completely unfalsifiable. It makes me angry.
---
It gets better.
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I once tried to come at as gay on facebook, but all my friends assumed it was a frape and just laughed at it. I was then too embarrassed to come out properly so they still don't know I'm gay. If people stopped assuming things about being gay are frapes, I'll try again...
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"We could be the happiest people on Earth. I wish he knew how much I'm in love with him, but I will never tell him, as I know (I think) he doesn't feel that way. It might ruin our friendship. The uncertainty is killing me though." do it.x
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fuck you. she's mine. fuck the fuck right fucking off.
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I forget how many of these are mine.
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you mean more to me than anything I have ever known, yet how can I tell you this, without risking our friendship? you say you love me, yet clearly not in the same way. to see you with him, each and every time it breaks me.x
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I want to post a secret to get it off my chest. But I'm worried that my friends will work out it was me.
---
I'm worried that breaking up with my exboyfriend has ruined by friendships with our mutual friends. I don't want to lose the best friends I've ever had, but if I were them I would take his side.
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I think I'm falling for someone who would be really wrong for me, and I know nothing can ever happen between us. I'm ok with that, but I'm starting to think that I'll never find someone who is right for me who actually wants to be with me.
---
I can't really speak Russian .....
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I've fallen in love with a first year, but she keeps rejecting my advances and is trying to set me up with her friend. I'm only seeing her friend to get closer to her.
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I wish people would stop posting bullshit on here, I know for a fact some of the posts are false, because they're just spreading rumours about me... Grow up.
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It's always too late
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I wish religious people would show us athiests the respect we deserve.
---
I don't miss you.
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I hate you one minute, I miss you the next and want to forget all about it, then I see you and I feel hatred and the cycle begins all over again. I want it to stop.
---
I am worried about what the people on my corridor think about me.. there such a big group and then me .. I feel out of my depth on this corridor .. wish I was placed on a different one ...
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I wake up at 5.30 every morning to watch the sunrise!! You should too- hurray!
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preaching is not a secret
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I have serious trust issues. I have cheated during previous relationships and now I get paranoid about the one I'm in. I wouldn't cheat on my current but I don't think I could face the betrayal if someone cheated on me.
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I think i have a drink problem. Every time i go to the bar i end up getting steaming, is this normal :(
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I know who took those three Kronenbourgs from the fridge in Middleton.
---
I wish more people would consider God. People don't believe because they think they're going to find the answers to everything... and they're not. Life won't get easy just because you're a Christian. Ask any - I'm sure they'd agree. But what it does mean is that we can have hope. Because stuff that happens in this world is not random. And we are going somewhere. Like it or not. Most people would agree that Jesus was a real man - records prove it, they'd be mad not to. So why don't people believe what was recorded by many people at the time?? Surely eyewitness statements is good enough proof? I would never push my faith on someone but at the same time, I can't help thinking that people are missing out. There's more to life.
---
It wasn't until I met you that I had a real best friend; it wasn't until I met you I understood what lonliness really was.
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Sometimes I wonder if I told you how much I hate your hypocritical pettyness you'd change. But then it's a bit late for that now isn't it?
---
I have a problem. Everytime when i go out for a night out, i end up trying to sober up, what is wrong with me??? I cant stand to look at myself in the mirror. I can hear what my dad would say, "Man up you lightweight f*ck" .
---
i stole milk from the fridge.....twice
---
I worry people will think some of these secrets were posted by me.
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I piss in my sink. often.
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I've broken up twice with my first boyfriend, who still loves me. He told me it recently, after his unlucky early marriage. because I don't love him and I don't want to hurt him, I made him hate me, such a bitch!
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I made a wrong decision which I would just like to rectify ... I once opposed a motion for the creation of a society last term in the JCR. I was wrong to oppose it and would now like to join said society. My love life has taken a turn further down shit lane and need some guidance from the society on how to regain some love in my life. Im sorry again, please forgive me
---
I'm addicted to posting secrets! I also never realized quite how many I had until this started...
---
I'm worried about how tiny my sex drive is.
---
I think my anti-depressants have killed all my emotions. I hate not being able to feel anymore.
---
I constantly lie and make stuff up as I feel that people will find me boring otherwise. As such I feel that nobody really knows me. I have real highs and lows and find that my friends are only there when I'm being funny or am in a good mood. When i'm quiet or fed up nobody wants to know....
---
He's always playing the clown and everybody loves him for it, but sometimes those jokes hurt. It might be funny to you, but I'm crying inside.
---
I was a shit friend the other day P, I'm really sorry
---
I too got a B in GCSE french
---
Everytime there's no space on the shower ledge for me to put my soap/shampoo because some has left theirs there, I use theirs! (I did it again this morning!) :D
---
Reading this has confirmed the deep fear I have that everybody cheats =(
---
I was treated badly. I've never called it abuse because I somehow think it would be mean of me to make a big deal of it.
---
"I'd rather stay by myself in my room all day than go anywhere, but I don't in case people think I'm weird." snap!
---
I am a girl and I'm in love with my guy best friend, but he has a girlfriend :( Every time I see them together it hurts so much, and what makes it worse is that she is so lovely! I have never felt like this with anyone before, we can spend hours just driving around in his car, laughing and enjoying each other's company, and I honestly can't imagine life without him. We act like we're together pretty much, and he says "I love you" to me all the time which just confuses me even more. I know he isn't interested, but life would be a whole lot easier if he didn't give such mixed messages...
---
I had sex with a guy who was 16 when I was a month away from turning 19, and I'm to embarrassed to tell anyone.. I don't know what it is but I just love younger guys! Lol.
---
I'm lucky to have a boyfriend considering what a mess I am. I cheated on him. I'm scared if I tell him I'll never find someone that loves me again.
---
Once, in a deep state of intoxication, I had sex with a random guy I had just met down by the river where loads of people could see us. And I loved it.
---
i wish i was still anorexic. it kills me every time a guy likes my friends just because they're skinnier than me.
---
you're with him and not me, I though I could cope with that. I can't.
---
I would love for you to walk a day in my shoes so you could know what it's like. I don't want to feel like I need to impress you anymore. I am who I am and even though I'm not comfortable with it now, someday I will be.
---
I did everything for you and you did nothing for me. I hope it was worth it because you have no worth to me anymore.
---
I've cheated on all my girlfriends bar one; I'm not sure if I'm a good person who has moments of weakness, or an arsehole who's lying to themself
---
I had no friends at my first secondary school, then when I moved in sixth form it started to get better, until I was a massive dick and messed everything up, twice. I'm just worried I've done the same thing here.
---
I think my girlfriend lied about her virginity.
---
I'm too scared to update my facebook status in case nobody "likes" or comments.
---
Before I came to Durham I thought I could be gay, I'd like to thank all the guys who have proved to me I'm not!
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I've was always scared of everything, all the time, until I met you. Thank you, you've saved me.
---
I also got a B in GCSE French.
---
My ex-boyfriend killed himself a month ago. He was my best friend but there was nothing anyone could do. Its been horrific. I feel like its a waiting game for the day it sinks in and my heart breaks.
---
Everytime you talk about your new job, I fake a smile and act excited for you but secretly i'm hurting inside. I can't bear to think that it may mean the end of this relationship :(
---
In first year I pissed on the floor of my Tees room multiple times when drunk
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You. Are the most beautiful girl in the room.
---
I wish I could start over again with him.
---
I've broken up two relationships by falling for the wrong person
---
the pregnancy test was negative, I actually felt disappointed
---
One of my future housemates and I really really fancy each other. He had a girlfriend for a bit but we flirted like mad. One evening, it popped up on Facebook that he was now single, and he texted me 2 minutes afterwards. The next day, he came round to mine for an amazing day of unbelievable sex (originally were going to wait for a bit but decided we couldn't!), and we haven't looked back :-9 haven't figured out how we'll cope living together next year though :-/ P.S. He's 4 years younger than me :-D
---
When I was in first year I took this girl back to my corridor in Tees one night, after she had too much to drink, despite the protest from the then chair Sam Roseveare. Once back on the corridor I took her to my room and preceded to sleep with her, even though she was unconscious at the time. I have always stuck with the line that I was doing her a favour and I slept on the floor.
---
If I were to win the lottery, = breast reduction.
---
I'm worried about the number of very sad people at Mildert. I have had problems with depression for years, but when I got to Durham I went to the GP and they have been so supportive, they gave me loads of info and self help advice, and are always there for support if I need it. Seriously give it a go if you think you need the help! Stay strong guys!
---
I really like him, but can never bring myself to speak to him around college. :(
---
I am the drill man
---
The more weight I lose, and the less feminine my body becomes, the more attractive I feel.
---
he fell in love with me when i was broken, now i worry that he wont still love me when im fixed
---
I had sex in my housemates bed with her younger sister.
---
I love watching the Mildert boys play rugby outside the window when I revise, although I sometimes with they would play shirts vs. skins....
---
Crazy about her. She knows it. So does everyone else. But we dont talk about it :-(
---
I once burnt my knob on a towel rack. It's not impressively long, I just got too close
---
For the first time in a very long time I'm actually elated. I've realised that no matter how much you think something inside you is wrong and should never be said; just do it! Get it out there and you stop poisoning yourself. Tell the right people everything you've wanted to for ages and make everything better for yourself.
---
I wish I had friends.
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20 weeks pregnant. out and proud.
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This one time, at band camp,....
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I masturbate way too much. I've got to get out more!
---
Is being abnormally susceptible to "lose the game" a sign of mental weakness?
---
Coming out as gay in Durham was the most liberating experience I've ever had. The response has been amazing and it actually strengthen my relations with my friends, who were really supportive and cool about it. Don't be scared, be proud!
---
I can't tell my friends I'm often too depressed to go out but making up lies all the time is getting exhausting.
---
I also got a B for GCSE French.
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I had sex with a local
---
I understood the Glee reference further down the page.
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I'm gay and I agree with this post "I wish more people in Mildert were gay. There is just no opportunity to meet anyone. I hate the fact that the Durham bubble is so devoid of gays. Plus the straight boys are really hot and I would do at least half of them right now..." I wouldn't say half the straight boys are hot though... maybe a quarter....
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I enjoy giving oral sex too, it makes me feel powerful :)
---
I'm a male third year and last year, with one of the then freshers I, like many others before me, had problems with sustaining the necessary level of arousal on one occasion. I thought that to sit in our garden (this was in about November) slapping my little man about might help. It didn't and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone struggling with the same issue...
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I secretly wish i was back at the investment bank i worked at in my gap year than studying at Van Mildert...
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I can't understand how, or why, I drink so much. I have a problem and I need to stop. Last term I went to Fabio's and after only a few cocktails, was sick all over my own room. Even my mother has sat me down and asked me how I manage to drink so much, but I haven't got an answer for her. I just don't know what to do with myself. If a day goes by without going to Jimmy's and having at least a few trebles, I get depressed and start hitting things with my tennis racket. Exams are coming up, and I can't cope with the fact that they won't let me take vodka into the exam hall. Somebody needs to help me, I just can't stop drinking!
---
I was so nervous on my first time. I couldn't keep it up, we spent the whole night trying but I physically couldn't do it.
---
i bet this is how gossip girl started
---
I love giving oral sex and there is one guy in particular that I would like to give it to. I just don't know how to get him to agree
---
I'm regretting what I posted
---
Even though I can't talk to any of the other people who have posted, knowing I'm not the only one is helping.
---
I'd rather stay by myself in my room all day than go anywhere, but I don't in case people think I'm weird.
---
I think the exec do more than some people give credit for. I've at times been a bit sceptical myself and sometimes a bit of a hater but I've come to realise that actually they do work quite hard, and have long meetings that a lot of us probably wouldn't want to go to. I think some of the perks they get are deserved.
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I wish more people in Mildert were gay. There is just no opportunity to meet anyone. I hate the fact that the Durham bubble is so devoid of gays. Plus the straight boys are really hot and I would do at least half of them right now...
---
Sometimes I wish it could be freshers all over again so I could pick different friends. Not looking forward to living with some of my housemates next year, they make me more happy than sad.
---
From arrival at Mildert as a scraggly young whippersnapper, I was overwhelmed not by the splendor that permeated through every spore of the university campus, but by the sheer beauty of the Mildertian women. Never have I witnessed the shapeliness, elegance and raw magnetism that characterized the freshers of 2010-2011, neither have I ever felt so personally out of my depth in their company, at odds with their incomprehensible charm. Wherever I turned, whichever girl I looked at, I felt overpowered, inept beside her inherent beauty. Sausage.
---
I really want to marry my best friend's mum so he has to call me 'Dad'
---
I am gay. I have accepted this but don't know how to tell anyone else. I fear people will treat me differently. It weighs on my mind a lot and i fear more than anything that my friends will respond negatively
---
Every day I love Durham more and more. My friends in college, the nature, the old cobblestone streets and brick buildings - coming here was the best decision of my life.
---
i miss my mum!
---
im a first year fresher, yet to be laid in 2011, just want a good ragging from a certain 3rd year who i have it on good authority also wants to rag me too. If not, fingering will do.
---
I worry everyday that my University experience has changed me for the worst and the person I once was is long gone.
---
I've got a B in GCSE French
---
I want to break up with my girl friend, I just don't want to put her through it so I stay with her.
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I'm lebanese
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HSG!
---
Sometimes I almost wish the exams will never be over because I dread going home for the summer so much.
---
(This isn't exactly a secret but here it is... If you do have complaints or suggestions about how to improve post secret please contact me directly, i would be happy to discuss it, Steph x)
don't think you should be able to have constant updates when someone writes on this page. It makes it too gossipy, like "News Flash! Lets ogle at this person's thoughts and feelings and get a kick out of it, and maybe secretly feel pleased that we aren't feeling as unhappy/stressed/sexually frustrated/whatever as they are". Also, surely Welfare should be promoting things that let you focus on work instead of inducing widespread procrastination. People are now probably looking at this comment and judging it/being bitchy about it etc etc... You probably won't put this one up, will you?
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I feel like I've exploited my dad but I can't go back on it because I've made promises to other people. Ahhhh
---
I think I have a crush on my best friend. We're both guys and he definitely isn't gay.
---
I have a drinking problem that I've never really acknowledged. I've only recently been receiving support for it and so far it's been a difficult week...but I'm told things only get better from here on in. Besides...it means I get to laugh at the rest of you at formals from now on :-S
---
I'm involved in the JCR quite heavily. I never really wanted to be, it kind of just happened. All I want back is for people to respect that what I do is work to make their lives better in some small way. A smile would be nice, too.
---
I am the banker.
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Hate the word "revision"! hate exams at all!!!
---
I wonder if any of these secrets are about me
---
my biggest insecurity is that my heart was broken and i dont think i will ever fall in love again. i have put on weight and hate looking at myself in the mirror. sometimes i just drink too much to try and get this out of my mind
---
I went out this week and had a bit too much to drink. However I managed to get myself up and out for my 9am lecture. My short walk to the Science site was made slightly better when I saw the girl I have been secretly thinking of the last few months :) When I got to the lecture the monotony sent me into a wistful daydream and, I am ashamed to say, I fell asleep. In my dream I finally plucked up the courage to ask this girl to coffee...although this wazs wonderful for my dreaming dating life I awoke from my slumber to discover that I had had a small accident in my trousers. I really don't know if this girl can mean so much to me that I can't control my feelings even in lectures...? had to get that one out
---
I eye-candy the black-haired male server at the dining hall.
---
I'm shy, but I try to smile when passing people in college, just to be friendly. At the rate that I am getting smiles back, I'm starting to question the point of it.
---
My mum interrupted my first time. Twice.
---
I broke my sisters toilet when i was 8.
---
I know all the words to candle in the wind
---
I blamed being single on going to a single sex school. Now I have no-one to blame but myself.
---
I pretend I don't care and joke about, otherwise I wouldn't make it through the day.
---
Some of the same 'us' also built the anonymous recycled art installation in the Ustinov Room. Its bare sick...
---
I was genuinely disappointed to find out the story that Durham students can get married in the cathedral is in fact, apocryphal.
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I don't think a powerful welfare tool like this should be made into a superficial rumour mill that people are encouraged to keep an eye on. It's for people to get things off their chest. Allowing other people to read them is simply extra which is supposed to reassure those that posted secrets that they're not alone, or weird. This page is fun, and a good way to procrastinate, but there's something a bit wrong about what it is rapidly becoming. My secret: this is the first time I've ever posted one, because I don't trust those who run the JCR to keep it anonymous.
*All post are completely anonymous to both the welfare officer and the president*
---
I always want the people I can never have and I never like the people that I should. Being this way is harder than it should ever have to be.
---
I didn't think spin the bottle counted as cheating but my girlfriend disagreed!
---
I once kissed a man literally twice my age...
---
I met my current girlfriend through RugbyLover.co.uk
---
Being diagnosed with clinical depression was a relief.
---
I avoid getting attached because I won't ever let a guy break my heart again.
---
Fucking hate Durham.
---
I live in a house with 5 other girls..I don't know how to tell the others I've slept with one of their boyfriend's whilst they were together
---
I have pretty much hated my whole time at Durham. I lived at Mildert in first year and that was by far the worst, to the point I was put on medication to get through. I spent probably around 90% of the time upset, stressed and depressed while I watched friends at other Universities doing the same course and having a great time. I agree that this university and college in particular has been emotionally and spiritually draining, and nothing but negative for myself; and while I have met some amazing people here there are a large amount of negatives that undermine this. I finish my last exam in 3 weeks and nothing is more welcome. To see other post's stating the same is comforting, I really wanted to enjoy university and it just didn't turn out that way. If you're feeling the same, know that others are too and you're not alone. /Essay over
---
My housemate's taken his Girlfriend to Corfu, i was so drunk last night I accidentally pissed in his room.
---
It was us that had the fruit food fight in the Turner room after the Epiphany Ball..
---
I don't know how I would live without you, which is why I'm so scared of staying with you.
---
I would like to say a big thank you to the kitchen chef for including Halal meat as one of the choices. Having requested halal meat since first year, I've had to restrict my diet to the vegetarian option (as nice as it is) and therefore appreciate the chef accommodating for the 'minority of people who can only eat halal meat'. It means I can look forward to dinner and not worry about spending money on takeaways every other night!
---
I once tried (and failed) twice to instigate a student-teacher relationship during 6th Form. The second time had me banned from her lessons. Lol.
---
Durham is the most depressingly homogeneous place I've ever been to. Everyone is white. Everyone is middle class. Most people have lived the same lives up until this point. At times I find myself wishing I were anywhere but this place.
---
I killed the Harry Potter formal owl.
---
I wear women's underwear.
---
I lie about the number of people I've slept with, despite the fact I think it upsets the one person I really care about
---
I miss you.
---
I hurt people I care about so that they can't hurt me first, and I don't realise until it's too late.
---
Don't use any free condoms given out at Van Mildert, or indeed the ones that you can buy at the shop, they break almost 50% of the time!
---
I'm secretly glad my friend broke up with her boyfriend, even though it makes her unhappy, because it means she can spend more time with me
---
I know I say it alot at open mic nights ... but i can be your hero baby
---
I had a moment with my sister a couple of years ago and had wished I'd taken the plunge ever since. When I finally did a month ago I discovered.... it was pretty neat.
---
I just made myself throw up for the first time. I know it's disgusting, but I already want to do it again.
---
The other day, I took more than two deserts from the canteen
---
Because my sibling is disabled, I've always felt huge pressure to do well at school.
---
I secretly hate my supposed friends here. All I look forward to is going home and being with my real friends.
---
I have no secrets.
---
I really wish I was attracted to him.
---
Don't know what to do. He has so many female friends. I am not of his league.
---
I see dead people
---
Metaphor aside, you have genuinely broken my heart. I never believed in Karma, but I did it to him first and now I feel like I deserve it. You've made me feel worthless.
---
We have had sex more than 150 times since Freshers Week. That number would be higher if not for (refractory) periods. Nevertheless, life is good.
---
We had sex on your bed, bitch.
---
I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and need to take medication to control it but I fear that if I do I won't be the same person anymore
---
i think i might secretly be gay :)
---
Me too.
---
I once told people I was on antibiotics for a chest infection when it was actually for syphilis... And yes, it is possible to get that in this century!
---
I know he's cheating on her, but I don't know whether to tell her or not. I couldn't bare to see her upset because of what I've said.
---
We always catch each other's eye. We've never spoken. One day I'll pluck up the guts to say something to her.
---
I could never be more sorry for treating him like shit. And it kills me when I realise how great a person he really is.
---
You're wrong for him and you're right for me. If only you could see that.
---
I think you think I'm crazy about you. I am, but I'll never do anything about it because I don't think you feel the same way.
---
Sometimes when he tells me that he loves me, I think he's just reassuring himself.
---
I have 22 body piercings. Most people think I have 1!
---
I have secretly been seeing two different Mildertians at the same time and think it is now the stage I should just pick one of them. But then I reckon that I will already feel unfaithful to the one I choose, meaning that we start on the back foot.
---
I think God's awesome.
---
The uncertainty is killing me too.
---
I'm sorry, it's not that don't love you, I just fundamentally can't commit to relationships. Maybe one day I will be able to tell you why.
---
I just want you to care about me like you used to, I don't wan't to feel second best anymore. I'm sick of the games. I think I'm in love with you still after all this time and I've only realised as I've written this secret. Shit.
---
A large part of me categorises emotions into positive and negative. The "negative" ones are those that by some rationalisation can be construed as weakness: love, compassion, sympathy, are the ones that I never show for fear of destroying my carefully constructed public face. For most of the time, I don't even feel them, and I'm not sure I can even remember how to. I'm terrified of how this will affect my life if they are clamped down on any harder.
---
I had to stop a friend committing rape while he was drunk. I lied through my teeth to get him off, got myself in trouble in the process and have never trusted myself with anything since. I have never told him what he or I did.
---
I can't remember why I drink any more.
---
After I finished my first year, I couldn't quite believe how much good and bad had happened to me in the last 9 months. It was only when I was passing through Durham on the train to Edinburgh in the holidays that I realised that it hadn't all been a dream. In that moment I was so sure that the next three years of my life could never top it. How wrong I was.
---
I am worried if I really am good enough to be where I am, and if I've just been deluded into thinking I'm more capable than I really am. As I do my work I feel like I am and should be somewhere else or doing something else. But whats motivating me to keep going is the amazing friends I have around me, who I love so much.
---
Nobody knows the true me. Everyone knows a different lie.
---
I've never been kissed.
---
I hated first year with a passion - I have never been, and pray I am never again, more miserable in my life. I know there will be current Freshers who feel the same, and I just want to tell you IT GETS BETTER. I promise with all my heart, now I am happy here and never thought I could be. I know you might not believe me (I wouldn't have believed me) but it does really get so much better. Love, a happy fourth year.
---
I think I'm falling for the boy two doors down from me.
---
I made myself believe what you said to me because I wanted to believe it, and not for any other reason. Not even because I thought it was really true. But that is by the by. You can't eat the orange and then throw the peel away - a man is not a piece of fruit
---
I cried on my birthday
---
Not a day goes by when I don't wish I were a girl
---
Exams terrify me but I still struggle to get down to work - I hate myself for not having the motivation!
---
This year I have realised that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Everyone else eventually lets you down.
---
I tried to kill myself.
---
I want to forgive my dad
---
I wish I could make my mum feel confident again
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It hurts me everytime someone calls someone a spastic, or a puff - but I never tell people to stop because I think they'll judge me for my family
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I tell myself that people don't like me so I'm not disappointed when they don't
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I go to brothels to boost up my self-esteem.
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She's my best friend and I've fallen in love with her.
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We could be the happiest people on Earth. I wish he knew how much I'm in love with him, but I will never tell him, as I know (I think) he doesn't feel that way. It might ruin our friendship. The uncertainty is killing me though.
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This year I am the happiest I have ever been, and it's all down to one very special person. THANK YOU.
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I sometimes wonder whether the friends I have made in Durham are the same as the ones I have made at home. People say you make friends for life here, it doesn't feel like that yet!
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I'm constantly afraid that people are going to realise that there is nothing about me to like. Because if it happened once then it will happen again
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I hope these aren't the best years of my life because I want to live like this forever!
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Sometimes when I walk across Elvet Bridge I consider throwing myself off. The voice in my head asks me if I feel suicidal. The voice is the thing that worries me.
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In 2 months my real life will start, the one that has been planned out for me. I'm scared in 10 years I'll resent it and those that made me take this path.
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I cheated on my last boyfriend, and no longer have any respect for myself. When my current boyfriend tells me how much he likes me, i want to tell him what i did in the pat but the thought of him hating me as much as I hate myself just terrifies me.
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I chose him over someone else, then when he decided not to be with me a month later I went out with the other one. I couldn't be happier with him, but I feel guilty that he was essentially my second choice. And I also want to let the other guy know somehow that I no longer think of him as good enough for me. I feel embarrassed for ever thinking he was worth anything.
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I always have a bitchy comeback to your racist remarks, but I never vocalize them because I know that if I spoke, everyone would hear the tears. And I'm cooler than that.
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I fantasise about dying, because then people would suddenly realise they liked me.
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Everyone thinks of me as the 'wild one'. I don't want to be that anymore, but I'm scared that if I'm not, I'm nothing.
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I submitted the same essay to 2 different lecturers and they didnt notice. One gave me a low 2-1 and the other a first. I would love to tell the department this to demonstrate how biased lecturers can be, but I can't or I'd get in trouble for "multiple submissions"...
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I have a boyfriend but have a crush on a guy in college i see nearly everyday.. oh i really want to do you so badly!
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I had sex in the Ustinov Room.
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This year I've cheated on one Mildertian with 2 others... One of those was also in a relationship!
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In our house of 6, 3 of us have had sex in a 4th housemates bed and she has no idea!!
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I often pretend to find coursework more boring than I actually do... it's really quite interesting.
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I never loved you. I just didn't love myself enough to realise.
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I feel like I'm losing myself every single day I spend in Durham. I have to be here because my future depends on this degree, but the cost spiritually and emotionally is incalculable. I don't know where to go or what to do. I don't belong anywhere. I have nothing except potential but what will it cost me to realise it??
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I want to pummel this guy, who thinks he's a massive lad (but is actually a massive twat), with a water pistol the size of a rocket. Take that bitch!
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I'm slowly falling in with your voice, a little more each time you talk to me. I'm scared of it, but I love it, even though I know you love her way too much for our laughs ever to catch in each other's throats. You want it sometimes, I know you do, but never quite enough.
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I secretly would love to fail first year exams, I hate being at Van Mildert College, and hate the cliques which exist.
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I stalked a girl in high school. I also called her anonymously but got caught when forgot to withhold my number.
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I was once such a bad boyfriend I drove my girlfriend to try to kill herself. I then abruptly dumped her and she tried again.
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I love picking my nose! I even want to pick my boyfriend's, but he won't let me :(
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I'm totally in love with my housemate's girlfriend. Also I'm bi and have never told anyone... exciting huh?
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Does anyone else think that the Earth Sciences bathrooms are really nice?
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You can't even trust yourself to be alone in the same room as me. Ha. Grow up you pathetic little boy.
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Feel like it will take me forever to settle in here. I'm just crap at making friends, and probably make a horrible first impression because i just don t feel myself around people that i dont know. Miss home so so much.
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"I love the idea of being a slave for a woman, but daren't let anyone know because everyone will think i'm weird! I think i'm the only one into weird stuff like that!". Your not, I feel exactly the same way but am far too scared to tell anyone
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So much about you frustrates and annoys me, but I still depend on everything you say
So much about you frustrates and annoys me, but I still depend on everything you say
